Wednesday, November 15, 2023

- November 15, 2023

I think of what my life could have been like if there was no oppression if there was no discrimination, the life I should have had if I had been allowed to be myself.

I imagine a life in which I was encouraged to pursue my passions instead of being ignored and told I was not good enough.

A life in which I could have had friends and a boyfriend. A life of creativity and passion instead of a life of depression and solitude.

I imagine if I had the resources that others had growing up. I imagine going to school and not being teased and bullied. I imagine going to school and having my talents embraced and encouraged instead of ignored.

I imagine beginning a career buying a home meeting people having friends and having a boyfriend.

I imagine having a boyfriend and that boyfriend proposing to me. I imagine our wedding.

I imagine a life of possibilities instead of a life of depression and isolation.

I imagine a life different than the one I have experienced. I imagine growing up being taught the Truth instead of an agenda of hate. I imagine not being told that who I am is not acceptable.

I grew up in the religion of the cult of denominations. I grew up hearing the lies of old cis men who only further their own agenda instead of spreading the Truth.

I want to do standup comedy and improv comedy again. I do not have the resources and access to places to do these things.

I do not have plans to go anywhere today. I hope to be productive today but being productive is not the easiest thing for me to do.

I hope to do some video editing and maybe create some songs using the sounds that I have access to on my external HD.

I want to do some writing and work on my writing.

I plan to browse and apply to some job openings at some point today.

I would like to play Minecraft.

I would like to do some reading and coloring today.

It would be nice to organize my photography and video gear.

I need to organize and clean my bedroom and home office.

I have so much I want to do and I also need to cook and eat.

I plan to watch something on streaming or listen to music while I eat.