Tuesday, November 07, 2023

- November 07, 2023

We kissed.

After saying a few words we kissed.

I have been very attracted to a few of the guys that I met while living in California.

I met this one guy at a house.

He opened the door. We said a few words that I no longer recall. We kissed.

He led me upstairs.

Naked, on a bed, I suck his cock. I loved his cock. I liked it in my mouth.

He finished and I swallowed.

I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I wanted to see him again.

I wanted to suck his cock again.

I never saw him again. I talked with him via text or a phone call but I never saw him in person again...

I met older men a few times in my life.

I do not recall how the online discussion led to my cock being in their mouth.

I would sit with my legs wide apart.

They would be on their knees.

I went elsewhere in my mind.

Once I had this really old guy suck my cock.

I was on a bed in his apartment or whatever it was.

I closed my eyes and imagined being with someone my age.

I finished in his mouth. It felt amazing for a moment but it felt weird having such an old man suck my cock.

Growing up, the false teachings of the cult of denominations increased my depression and anxiety and kept me from having a fuller life.

I imagine if the cult of denominations did not make me being me something to be ashamed of...

I could have had a boyfriend and went to school dances with my boyfriend.

I could have walked the halls of school without being called names and teased.

I could have been happy.

One of the weirdest things I have ever done was have an older man suck my cock in a public restroom, in the middle of the open space, with older men entering and exiting the restroom. I could not finish because I could not focus.

I am not going anywhere today. I am considering going to a few places tomorrow.

I like the feel of my cock in my hand. I wish that I had a boyfriend. I could play with his cock. I could run the tip of my tongue from the tip down the shaft.

I wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend.

I also wonder what a first career would be like.

On my back, his tip goes in, my legs wrapped around his body.

His lips pressed against my lips.

I feel him sliding in and out as he tells me how great it feels to be inside of me.

I love his cock, the memory of when I had his cock inside of me, and I wish I could have it again.

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