F Jason Whitaker

Today I am working on a submission to a contest. It's an editing contest using clips from a site and songs from another site. I can use up to a certain amount of video clips and so many songs for the project. It will not be easy since I no longer have Adobe Creative Suite. I will have to use iMovie. I may not win but I will make an effort...

I hope to write and produce a web series. I need to figure out the story but I am hopeful. I also need to consider locations when writing. Since I do not have transportation I will be limited to how far I can go to find locations. I need to find actors and crew. I will not need too many people but I will need a few. I could use help with the producing of the series but not sure where to find help.

Web series. I want to do a web series. Each episode would be very short, maybe five minutes long. Each season or series would be about twelve episodes long. Comedy or drama? I have not decided. When shall I begin? I have not decided. I need people to help with this but not sure how to find them here. I need actors and crew. I need locations close enough for me to walk to since I do not have transportation. I am hopeful...

I am reconsidering the idea of writing and producing a web series here. I will take some time to consider the characters and story. I hope to begin writing the series in the next few weeks. I need actors and crew. Not sure how of where I shall find them...

I think I would still be open to writing and producing a web series here. If I could find a couple of people interested in acting. I am available for filmmaking projects.

I am a filmmaker and I Need to work on being a filmmaker. I have cameras. I have lights. I need to do some filmmaking.

Photography. I October has been a good month in regards to my photography. I traveled to NYC. The photography there was great. I like d doing street photography. Central Park was a relaxing place to photograph. There was a wide variety of things to photograph in NYC. I did some video while in NYC and I am posting those videos on my Youtube. I went to the fair here and it was nice to do photography at a small fair. I  did some farm animal photography and some photography of the rides. It was a fun day. I have no plans to do any photography on or for Halloween. I may not do anymore photography this month. I need to do more video. I hope to do more video and photography. One idea is to have a photograph of the day and a photograph of the month on the main page of my photography website. I need to find ways to earn money from my photography. It would be great to have a steady flow of income from my photography and video.

Friday I have plans for the evening. Sunday I have plans for the evening. I do not have plans for Saturday...

I stand here and I think it would be great if I had enough money to do the things I want to do... otherwise I do not want to do anything...

I often think about the idea of not being single. It's not about sex, though sex would be awesome. I just do not want to do the hookup thing anymore. I really do not want to meet older guys just so they can do a certain thing to me (for me) though that feels great. I have hormones and I have desires but these desires go beyond that one physical aspect. I desire to find a guy that I can share life with, one that I can wake up to, one that I can cuddle with, a guy I can travel and camp with, a guy to be there for me and a guy I can be there for, and someone to love and be loved by... Is true love actually possible?

Halloween will be here soon. I have the stuff for a costume. Today I am uploading photos. The rest of this week I need to focus on writing. I need to focus on what is important.

I was the volunteer photographer for Pride. It was a long day. Tomorrow, what shall I do? I have no idea. Too tired to think about tomorrow...

I have plans this evening and tomorrow. It's not often that I do have plans. I have no transportation and I Live in the middle of nowhere where public transportation is taking an Uber. It was so nice visiting a city. I had a great time in NYC. I want to move there because there is work for me there but the cold weather is a concern. I have no idea what I am going to do but I am beginning to think things out as far as what I could do...

I know that I need to make more videos for Youtube as well as increase my subscriber base drastically so that I can earn money from my channel. I also need to utilize my websites more to create an income flow. I need income in general. I need to do more with my time. I need to be more focused and forget about all of the doubt...

I am cold. It's colder here. I need to take a shower and go return the RedBox rental. What else shall I do today? I have plans for Friday and Saturday. I need to focus on my writing, photography & video, and making money. I have ideas for what I could do but I have doubt about these ideas working. I need to get past the doubt.

I stand here wondering what I should do. I keep thinking of stuff I could do but I often doubt the outcome of those things... What now?

I have no idea what I'm doing. Most days I no longer want to do anything. I do want to do something, I have so much I want to do, but I am unable to do any of these things at the moment. I am alone. I have dreams and goals but no idea as to how to achieve them. Where would I want to live? NYC, Los Angeles, Ventura (CA), Ireland, London... So many places... I want to have a tiny house and travel the country. I know what I want to do but no idea how to plan to do these things...

What shall I do today? I need to think about it.  I have been more depressed since coming back from NYC. It's not easy going back to a rural area after visiting a city. I have not been to a city in years... Will anyone ever hire me? Why are companies not hiring me? 

Next weekend is Pride here. I am volunteering Saturday morning. I am also bringing my camera to do some photography...

Friday. Another day back from NYC.  I was somewhat nervous about traveling to NYC but I was wrong about what it would be like. I have been to cities before: Chicago and LA. I knew NY would be different. It was not bad. I loved being in NYC.  I would move there if I had the chance.

It's Thursday. It feels as though it should be Saturday...

I am going to a local state fair today. I miss being in NYC. I miss living in a city. Living in the middle of nowhere is so different from living in or even near a city. I would have to travel to Atlanta to visit the closest city to me. I would prefer to visit or move to NYC...

I am hopeful. Traveling to NYC made me realise that I want to live there...

My NYC trip was great. I have so many photos. I also have some video. I plan to add some of the photos to my website today....

The following is a portion of a short story I have written: I can hear the rain, on the roof, beating a constant rhythm that may only be in my head. It might be sunny outside or maybe it’s a cloud free starry night. I’m in this room, my bedroom, as I am most often these days. What else is there for me to do?  I stare at the blank walls. I would have posters but I cant decide between Star Wars and Star Trek. I know what  you’re thinking. I have to chose one of them, but do I really have to chose? Why should I chose when I can love both of these franchises? As you will notice, as if you have not already, I do not focus too well so I will jump from random thought to random thought. Did I have breakfast yet? I think I did but each day seems like an eternal “Groundhog Day” and I am stuck in my room on the same day. It’s not as if I cannot leave my room or this house. I chose not to leave the house or room except when I absolutely have to go somewhere like the store. I have a few friends tho

Tomorrow at this time I will be in NYC. I have some ideas for places I want to go and photograph but I do not have a schedule since I do not know how my days will look. I know that I will arrive before the official hotel check in time but I hope that I will be able to leave my bag in my room and go exploring.  Saturday there will be a Food Network event. I have no idea what this will be. I am looking forward to visiting NYC. I will have photography and video from my trip posted on my site next week. 

I am excited about my trip Friday. But I know that I need to do more with my life. Being single is not bad but I do not think I want to remain single. I do not know how to meet people anymore. I have no transportation. I have nowhere to go to meet people my age except bars. I am not a fan of bars.  I want to have a career but I do not know how to make that happen. I have applied to so many jobs. I'm not interested in looking into other fields for my career because I do not have money to go back to school.  I live in the wrong state for what I went to school for, living in a rural state, and I do not have the resources to move to a better state. I do not want to be consumed with worry about my future. I have wasted too much time doing this. I would love to write for television. I doubt I will ever be a TV writer. I do not know how to get started. I have applied to writing programs but I doubt I am the type of person they are looking for. I have attempted to write and produce video i

song 10 - 6:7:17, 9.22 PM

I feel better compared to yesterday. I think I will take today to rest so that I will feel way better before my trip to NYC Friday.

I'm not a religious person in the way that some would consider religious. I have a faith and a set of beliefs. I am a Christian. I believe that the interpretation of scripture that so many people use is not accurate. I also believe that the majority of people claiming to live "according to these interpretations" ignore anything that is about themselves instead focusing on parts that were not accurately interpreted. They justify hate and discrimination with scripture taken out of context and scripture that was misinterpreted. I would like to have a place to worship. A place with people of similar beliefs. A place where the ages of the people are diverse. A place where I can meet other Christians. That place does not exist where I live. 

I write in my blogs each day. I have three blogs. all of them can be found on my website. I am tired so I am going to watch some Youtube and think about some stuff...