Friday, January 05, 2024

- January 05, 2024

I recall the various times my cock was in a guy's mouth. The warm and wet feeling. I had to focus on that feeling or I would never finish.

I often wonder where the people I have met are now. I imagine most of the people I have met never think about me.

I have no interest in giving money to a religion.

Tired of the day to day,

same routine,

I need the routine

but I need something more.

I feel the solitude,

I hear it as a song

playing over and over again

in my head.

I feel time leaving me behind,

knowing I will never find

the life I have dreamt of,

as time is against me

and I have no options

but to wait for something

that may never happen.

I feel tired. I feel like going back to bed.

I need to go to Whole Foods but I do not feel up to going anywhere today.

Last night I had regret for all of the things I should have done but lacked the motivation or resources to do them.

I want a boyfriend but I doubt I will ever find a guy who I am attracted to who is attracted to me. I look back on the years of spending hours on the sites looking for random guys to suck my dick. I would spend so much time looking. I met a few random guys over the years. Most of them were older guys. the rest were my age. A few of them I found attractive. I wanted to get to now those few better. I wanted to spend more time with those few guys but I never saw them again.

I need a first career and a home. I need a life. I need my life to begin.