F Jason Whitaker

 Friday, January 31, 2025 This evening I'm planning to attend a D&D program at the library in my community. I hope that the weather will be nice for riding my bicycle to and from the library. Tomorrow evening I'm going to the Queer Game Night. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. I'm interested in a first career and my first boyfriend. I'm considering my housing situation. I'm anxious about the fact that I could end up homeless. I will no longer use the meet-up site. It's a waste of time. Today is the last day of January. My depression remains even months since Tiger's death. I don't know what I'm doing to do...

 Thursday, January 30, 2025 I'm tired of my daily life. I'm tired of being alone most of the time.  This morning I went to my local library. I was planning to go somewhere else afterwards but I decided that I didn't want to go anywhere so I went home. I have plans for tomorrow evening. A D&D program at my local community library. Saturday I'm going to the Queer Game Night. I'm anxious about the future of this country. I live in a rural area, a rural state, and there's no opportunities for me here and I'm unable to move out of state to live in a city. I'm stuck here with no hope.

 Wednesday, January 29, 2025 I had a free lunch today. I'm going to have a free dinner this evening. I don't know what to do. I have no hope of finding my first career. I need help. I want to have a Zevo 600 to live in and travel in. Here is the link: https://www.groundedrvs.com/camper If you want to help please help me buy the van. My PayPal is:  Jasonwhitaker29171@yahoo.com  I have plans tomorrow morning and Friday evening. I'm going to the Queer Game Night Saturday. I hope to find my first boyfriend soon but I'm not interested in being with the wrong person.  I don't know what I'm going to do but I want to do something...

 Tuesday, January 28, 2025 Tuesday. It's 4:20. I feel tired but I want to get something done. The USPS has not delivered a few items recently including a gift card that I won and a coupon for free pancake mix.  I'm interested in starting my life but with the way things are going in my country I'll be lucky if anything good happens for me. I want my first boyfriend who I hope will one day propose to me and we'll have a wedding somewhere beautiful. I need my first home because I fear I'll end up homeless otherwise. I spend most of my time alone I doubt if anyone will ever read this. I'm depressed and tired of my life. Is there anyone out there who could help me? I have lunch plans for tomorrow. Thursday I have plans in the morning. Friday I'm going to a D&D program at the library in my neighborhood. Saturday I'm going to Queer Game Night. I want to work on my writing but I can't concentrate. My MacBook hasn't been working. I don't know what...

 Monday, January 27, 2025 I wanted to remain in bed all day but I didn't. I'm  trying to figure out what to do today.  I have plans for Wednesday though Saturday. I'm single. I've always been single. I've asked a handful of guys to be my boyfriend, over the years. and they either said no or they were not queer. I think if I were able to that I'd adopt. I'm thinking that I would adopt an older child, maybe 7 or 8 or 9. I would be open to an older child up to 12 because I'm not interested in adopting a young adult. I'm constantly anxious about everything and overwhelmed. I  feel invisible. I want to find my first boyfriend soon but I don't know how to find an authentic guy who I'm attracted to who is attracted to me. I want to begin my life but between my doubts and feelings of uncertainty I'm having a difficult time starting anything. I need stability and I need a place of my own to call home. I feel like I have no hope.

 Sunday, January 26, 2025 I did laundry yesterday and I still haven't hung out my socks and underwear to dry. I don't have any plans for tomorrow.  There's things I've wanted to do but it's difficult to get myself to do anything.   One of the older men who sucked my D a few times in the past messaged me wanting me to top him. I'm considering it. I'm lonely and horny all the time. He told me that I have a beautiful cock and asked if I'd make a video of him sucking I. Is there a guy somewhere that would be attracted to me who I'd find attractive?

 Saturday, January 25, 2025  Saturday, January 25, 2025 Saturday. I feel the solitude. My entire life I've known I'm different. I thought I was getting help from the SCDDSN but I don't think they will... I'm uncertain about my future and what the future holds for me. I'm anxious about everything. I want my first boyfriend soon. I need my first career. I need my first home. I don't know how anyone finds these things. I'm no longer going to meet older me from the internet. I always felt weird after the old men I met would suck my.... When I lived in California I did meet a few guys my age but I have not had a boyfriend. I posted on LinkedIn asking for someone to hire me. I know from the lack of a response that I'm not getting hired due to discrimination. I have plans starting Wednesday...